Fiction that makes sense.
You can decide how much shoe to show under your pants.
No I haven’t had dinner.
But I had a summer and I’m left hungry and baffled.
So maybe its best if we dry this way -to dry to do it this way.
I have a lot of hangers I’m not using.
You never heard despair like this.
The path has long been open, but our seats not taken.
I’m laughing each time we give a break.
Just look for a person with open arms in the crowd.
rölativite
maviyi maviyle ölçmek.
dostu başka hiçbir şeyle belki.
dağı kesinlikle sadece dağ ile ölçmek.
şapkayı kafa + saça göre ölçmek.
vuran ışığı güneş ile değil yüzeye göre ölçmek.
denizi şehirde vapurla ölçmek.
düşünceyi ellerin yüze göre olan konumu ile ölçmek.
sevgiliyi ölçmemek.
boy uzama tamamlandıktan sonra yalnızca unutunca ölçmek.
tartıyı gidip pazarda bir kere daha tarttırmak.
aynayı iki odalı bir evde sadece bir odaya koymak, daha az kullanılana.
şiiri şiirle ölçmek. beyazı beyaz bir arka fonda.
EASY
It’s okay, I say
to the man
asking for
my hand,
I give up
being a person
or maybe it’s
enough I just
give up being
someone
established
somewhere
invented.
It’s enough
I give up
thinking in
terms of
cell membranes,
of last night,
and why
I could not
just hug you.
so I train a muscle
to see it the
way you do
even if I risk
getting it wrong.
Each sentence
of this afternoon
comes from how short
everything will be.
We’ll say
we understand
and get on
with the day
only knowing
the basics,
which won’t
be enough
anyways.
No one asked
but I’d like to tell
why I open my
window first thing
in the morning
and not my mouth.
I really want to
believe you
when you speak
but maybe
you should have
had your eyes closed,
nothing in your hands,
going nowhere instead.
Cynicism never
hurt no one
but me. It’s because
I’ve been
looking for the best
way to get rid of
sleep and
this thought.
That’s why I
find pedestrian
crossings dangerous
and not a very drunk
evening at the bar,
arguing, where
I could say anything
if I’m not careful
enough or when
I’m feeling exceptionally
gay, risking again,
slipping on everything.
I wait for the crowd
so I can do
exactly what
I’m doing now,
standing up
and mumbling.
It’s because no
one told me
It’s because no
one could have
It’s because I do
get it so very much,
I get why you’re happy,
and maybe it’s enough
that I simply don’t give
up on anything.
kısa bir süreliğine
çocuklar öyle hemen büyümez.
çiçekleri farmatonlu suya yatırırsan belki filizlenir.
yeteri kadar uzun süre bakışırsak eğer
hatırlayabilirim
o gün
balkonda
biz sevişirken
üzerimize güneş vuruyor muydu.
OCCUPATIONAL DEFORMATION
I’m looking for people to write about.
You can leave a note if you’d be interested in the part.
So far all I know about you is that
you prefer the warmth of summer,
but wouldn’t complain if it were also
winter, in the evening with
a leather jacket on and a mild breeze
stroking your head gently.
And your mind who knows maybe
finally free.
All I know is you wouldn’t oppose to me holding your hand.
The rest, I’m still trying to figure out.
It’s easy,
I will place you sitting on a chair
opposite me and ask you
to make different faces.
I will ask you to look angry, wise,
disappointed,
afraid, tired, and in love,
annoyed, excited,
and absolutely defeated.
I will write pausing you in between
poses and we’ll talk.
Every time we would disagree and coil up,
after every time I would cry, because I will,
even after then,
I will leave with no precise information as to how to do this.
I will only know the why.
You could then consider
giving me more of yourself,
you can then tremble,
shake with real fear,
roll your eyes.
But I would remain oblivious.
I wouldn’t mind.
And you would believe me.
At one point I will ask you to make no face at all
and watch it all come together from my desk.
It might take a day or more,
I couldn’t tell now.
Right before the end,
whenever it comes,
I would take a good guess
based on the looks of things:
that even if I didn’t always understand you
even if I did often confuse you
even
if I asked you to forget everything you’ve known,
you might still find yourself wanting to love me
very simply
and deeply.
You could then look at me
from the other side
of the long crowded room
and lock until you catch my smile.
You could gift me this gaze
you could do anything,
be anything,
make any face,
and I’ll fall for you.
You see it already happened once
and now I’m just reciting my part from heart.
In hindsight
you wouldn’t have to
think of anything else ever again.
You could kiss my neck.
We could watch that together too.
But what do I know?
As I said, if you’d like the part
just leave me a note,
text me,
stop by,
or call me
a sweetheart.
ARIAL
From Helvetica to Arial then back to Helvetica.
To sleep. From bed on your feet then back to Arial.
Makes more sense.
Select text.
Underline.
Undo.
Italics?
Bold.
Italic.
Undo italic.
Now just looks bold.
Undo bold.
Only italic.
Now looks important.
Undo italic.
Regular Arial.
Good. But
From Ariel to Arial narrow now.
Now italic.
Looks too italic. Arial Narrow italic.
Font size up, too narrow.
Okay stop. Now looks italic and wide.
Italic enough and wide enough
Arial Narrow in italic, for the title.
But Body.
Body in serif.
Font size down. body
body body.
From Helvetica to Times New Roman.
Now too small.
Doesn’t make sense.
Font size up. Stop.
Doesn’t make sense.
No, back to Arial.
ARIEL
We met
at a young time
ago.
You were blue
like a bead
and I
was blue
like baby
leaning out
the crib.
Every time
I would
reach
for a kiss
the noise
increased.
Every time I
watched the ceiling
you painted
clouds then painted
over them again after
I fell asleep.
One morning
at the monastery
I asked
for coffee
and got kicked out.
I got a book
for my birthday
and never got
past the first line.
I licked walls
then I cried.
Searching for
a compass
is still searching
for something
they lied
to us for
a hug.
Do you
notice
a difference be-
t
ween someone
always carrying
a pen
and one
who has the plot
on a leash?
Here stood a the-
atre for which
only the decor we see
and recognize
from the back.
I met a cat
called straw-
berry today.
She lost her tail on a fight.
What is resisted persists.
also
last year means
ten more years.
Landscape is
a bizarre word.
in orange.
This courtyard seems
huge
for what it is
spin around
for me
one last time
for what it’s worth,
if I had one person
to inherit all my poems
to
it would be you Ariel.
I tried other fonts but
I
always
come
back
to
you Ariel.
neredeyse tekrar etmeye bile gerek olmayan bir şey söyledi bana (N.T.E.B.G.O.B.Ş.S.B.)
I (kısa süreli hafıza)
Farkettiğim şey neydi hatırlamıyorum.
Çok büyük olsa gerek-
uğruna kadehler
en arka sıradan el kaldırıyorum.
Hatırladım,
sen benim
ben de senin
adını
taşıyorduk.
II (başkaldırı)
Tartıyı taşımaktan kollarım ağrıdı
Aletin kendisi çok ağırdı
Lafı dolandırmayalım,
adına İstanbul
dediğimiz her yer
İstanbuldu.
Rutine dönüşmemiş tekrarlarımız vardı.
Her gün güldük dolayısıyla
her gün ağladık.
Tahmini olarak birbirimizden başka satırlar atladık.
Kendi payımıza taş düştü
Bomba düştü
Yürümeyi öğrenirken çocuk başını taşıyamadı düştü.
Ben seni yazdım
Ben seni yazdım da n’oldu?
Rutine dönüşmeyen her şey tekrarlandı.
Alıştığımızı bazen unuttuk
Her gün büyük sesler çıkarmalıydık
Her gün anlamak zorunda kaldık
Sokakta elinde tartıyla dolaşılmaz
Bıraktık bir yere
Üzerine “bozuk” yazdık
çünkü artık kimse kanmasın ve buralar daha güzel olsun.
III
Bilakis diyorum
Şaşırıyorlar
Kendi çağımı konuşmalıymışım
İyi de
Ana dilimizi öğrenirken bize kimse kelime dağarcığımızı sormadı ki
Seviyor musun
Sevmiyor musun dendi
Biz de yalandan cevapladık
IV
şöyle bir durdum
düşündüm eyvah ben yine hayatı
başkaları üzerine mi kuruyorum
yol yakınken dönmek de
bir türlü yakın neresi kestiremiyorum
dilimi kesin
CONVEYOR BELT
I need you to give
me a line to
start the poem.
Half would
also do.
It is too early
in life to
realize nothing
ever completes
the tour.
So far the lost
and found box
is always full.
I am who
I am yet
I whisper.
Someone takes
the guilt away
by first person
singular.
Admiration is
a guide as
much as
despise. An
arrow leaves
an empty space
from where
it departs.
What I do
is never user-
friendly.
I’d like to
let you know
that I’ve tried
and that I am
considering creating
a character finally.
I’ve emptied out
the pantry
or equally
never had one.
Since two years
on my wall
it reads:
words will fail us anyhow.
01 10
illiterate days and I have all the time to read.
so I always have to be seen doing something?
first thing in the morning I look for my 1 TB external hard drive.
it is nowhere to be found.
today I might start something new.
perhaps one could still adopt a child without becoming a parent.
perhaps you can imagine I’m calling out your name. because somewhere I am.
your job is to manage expectations.
I used to be a door weight.
then, I slipped my feet under the 1 MM gap.
I’m getting used to things.
some say we all carry a potential that could never be realized by poetry.
some say poems always carry contempt.
and that they stand as an attack to poetry itself.
don't be afraid of poems
or of what they have to say.
you only laugh when you understand
if you understand.
we’ll keep the original text, see if it works or not.
uniqueness has become an issue.
mediocrity has always been one.
I used to thank them for their time.
now I don’t even properly apologize.
SUNDAY SERVICE ON PASSOVER
when a skateboard
hits the street stones
in built the chance
for the clamor to sound as
a neatly arranged chord
when accordingly a verse
is purposefully sampled
the aftermath writes the foreword
noising out of context now a reverence
,a reference letter
when a song latches on
when one (1)
oscillates back on interludes
and on forth the kid’s choir then one
hits a higher chance of arousal
between the two (2)
to owe
my melody
to the larger body
of scanned individuals
not drawn on
a cartesian flat flap
but taped together
and heard by a herd
of butterflies eating
each other out in the stomach
flying around the food
from yesterday
lately known to me
before anything else was obvious
Ssseeeking to help digest all of this
because often the destitute complains
in abundance still and I pray for you
with that,,,I also pray for myself
SECONDARY
I am memorizing the order of the
dead.
and you are a fact now. None
of us are evil for the truth,
uninformed and liberated.
Promises are among other things
I don’t know where to put.
You slowly join a pack and
leave it.
I look up the many ways to finish a book.
The already closures keep coming back
and no one told you
this
my final wish: get me out of the parenthesis.
In a whispering heaviness, I know
that we need another
to talk about them.
SONG
The repairman is here
I am still trying to find
the right reason for why we broke up
He is fixing a shower door
upstairs where there is a movie set
for a previous poem.
He is drilling
a money worth of hours
and occasionally in between the hardware sounds he makes
I hear a symphony playing
that’s it, I think, today I feel this way.
I’m writing but not thinking for once
what it could mean
it means all but never anything.
On the left side of my bed there is a void
that’s where I used to put you
I think, that explains why I refuse to fill it now
that explains why after love
we run the madhouse alone, I think,
that explains everything.
Even the plumber.
neyse ki
Normalden fazla olmasın, yorgunduk.
İmalarınız yüzünden affetmek giderek zorlaşıyordu.
Hem, nereden öğrenmiştik üzülen biz olsak da
kendimizi olaya bağışlamamız gerektiğini? Öteki seçenek
defolup gitmeyi. Bu sert oldu. Arkasında durabilecek miyiz?
Biri bizi azad etsin, öğle saatlerinde
normalden fazla olmasın, işler kesatken
parçalara ayrılmıştık. İtirazı olan,
ya da bir önerisi? En kötü ihtimalle bir silikon tabancası.
Bize kalsa her şey siyaha ve tonlarına boyanabilirdi.
Bize kalsa sevgimizin mirası tehditle geri alınabilirdi.
Bize kalsa yalvarabilirdik bile.
Kontrolsüz Sinir A.Ş.
bi lojistik firması kuralım
üstümden kalk bi önce sen
ben de hangi sokak olursa olsun başımı dikeyim ve yürüyeyim
insanlar yürüyüşlerine gitmişler
insanlar yürüyüşlerine kalkmışlar
İstanbul’dayım ve yazıyorum
belki bugün seni öperim
camdan bakıyorum, bakıyorum lojistiğim farklı
yirmi üç senelik çam ağacı
ancak o kadarını bilirim de o ben yokken de vardı
İstanbul’dayım ve yazıyorum
söyleyen sen olmasan da duydum
üç duvarıma yankı yapan bendim de dördüncüyü boş mu bıraksam
kumdan kaleleri deniz alıp götürüyor zaten
sizi çok özledim
ama nerede istiyorsanız orada kalın
şimdi ben de kalkıyorum.
